Living for my art!

1. What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?
I would say it is a tie between macaroni and cheese, apple pie, and chocolate cake with chocolate icing.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
LOL  Lawd Jesus...you are really going to give me this option?  I don't know a specific artist, but how about the whole crop of non singing suckas out there today.

3. You seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Since I'm not working a 9-5 anymore...how about put it in my savings account.

4. What is your favorite curse word?
Shit.  It is the word my mother uses, my grandmother and my great-grandmother used.  So...it is a family thing. LOL

5. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
It would be the 60's, for a combination of reasons.  One, I could spend time with my grandparents and parents.  The other is so i could just get to see the Civil Rights Movement for myself.

Bonus (as in optional):You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
I guess being invisible.  Hmmm, I don't know. *shrug*

I haven't done one of these in a while. Since I am up late watching shows on my dvr...I thought I would type out something on the blog.

1. When did you last use your cellular telephone as a flashlight?
Last night.  I do it nightly so as I am leaving the living room so I won't step on the cat...who is jet black.

2. On a scale from 1-10, how comfy are you being naked?
Pretty comfy.  Hell...if I can't be comfy, how can I expect someone else to be comfy with it?

3. What is the longest you've ever been celibate after having lost your virginity?
I think now is the longest...3 years.  And...with diseases plus the fools I have been meeting, I am glad I am keeping my legs closed.

4. Have you ever had sex in a car? If yes, since you were a teenager?
Yes and sadly...yes since I was a teen.  Oyi vey.

5. When did you last use food or drink as medication?
Yesterday.  I had a sinus headache and I need a fix fast.  Nothing like a double espresso

Bonus: Name three words that:
a) get you excited - shoes, singing, life
b) make you squirm - spitting, gym, bikram yoga
c) make you laugh - pontificate, emh (abbreviation for special ed),

The Shop

I am a Harlem girl...Living in Harlem World.

I swear, there is never a dull moment living in the hood....and I wouldn't trade it for the WORLD. 

People come to Harlem World, to suck up our flavor, but they can't do it like Harlem Girls can. LOL

Speaking of which...I have a funny Harlem World/Harlem Girl story from this past weekend.

I have always gone to the beauty shop in the hood and without fail there is always something that pops off that will keep you laughing for days.

Saturday was NO exception.

So...picture it....a shop full of black women, getting their hair did...the shop is jammed packed...folks either on their cells or listening to ipods...the Dominican beauticians are working their magic.  All of a sudden, one of the girls under the dryer starts talking REALLY loud on her phone.

(*side note* if you know anything about the black beauty shop, the one place you don't get loud on your cell phone is in there...especially when you live in the same neighborhood as your shop.)

Chicky's conversation was going like this...with her voice at a high and her words coming out at lightening speed...."Get out of my stuff! Why are you in my stuff?  That is the baby's birthday present.  You know you shouldn't be in my stuff."

Next thing we know she has slammed closed her cell phone.

Now...at this moment, the volume on the ipods have lowered, the music in the background has lowered and the murmuring of cell phone conversations...has dropped a decibel.

About 3 minutes later, Chicky's phone rings again and with the same tone and rapid speed we hear..."I keep telling you there is no need to be in my stuff.  Why are you in my shit?  OMG...get out of my stuff!"

She slams the phone down again and hops up from under the dryer and runs out of the shop.

(*side note 2* Okay....now if you know anything about black women, we all looked at each other with a typical side eye and started chuckling.  Now whomever was in her stuff, was stepping on some dangerous territory.  You could just hear it in her voice.)

About 5 minutes later, Chicky comes back in the shop and gets her hair finished and waits for her daughter.  Oh yes, her 6 year old daughter is with her.

By the time she finishes getting her hair styled, it is time for me to go and get my hair finished up. 

Well, I am sitting in a chair telling my hairdresser exactly what I wanted when the hilarity popped off...BIG TIME.

This dude...about 6'3" and 275lbs...comes up to the door yelling and swinging something in his hand...."So this is the shit you got around your kid?  You think this shit is cute.  This ain't funny one GD bit."

Now...what is in his hand you ask?  It is a brown dildo about the size of my forearm and he is holding it like one would hold a baseball bat that they are going to use for protection.

OMG...I am dying thinking about the whole situation.

Once he storms away, Chicky stands there shell shocked.  She gets her daughter and they run...out of the shop.

I know she barely made it out of the shop before one woman said..."Well, now we know what she didn't want him to see, but now we know what he can't do."

And that was it...as the WHOLE beauty shop errupted in laughter.

I swear...only in Harlem.

Again.

BWA

Go vote.  I know I am for my favorite Block...Yanni's Block. ;)

I remember when I used to do these like clockwork on a Friday.  Since, half of my office has moved to our new location and I am still put in the old...it is very quiet today.  Just what I needed.  A day of peace and harmony. *grinning so hard you can see ALL of my teeth*

I hope everyone has a safe and blessed weekend.....

I haven't been here in a hot ass minute.  I have got to do better by my blog.  Things have been rolling along in my life ever so nicely, but there are other things that are urkin' me...and no place to get them out like your blog.

• Okay...those people who say that there is no racism in the workplace. lemme tell you something, there is.  And I have a double whammy, i am not only brown, but I am a woman.  A woman who is intelligent and has a handle on the English language.  One who has a  FOUR year degree from a highly regarded state university.  Don't sniff out on me and think because I sit where I sit that ignorance is my thing.  My parents spent an AWFUL amount of money to make me into the person I am today.  Don't try me...cause in all honesty, I ain't your whipping boy.
• So, I let him back in.  I don't usually let men back in after they have gone out.  I just can't, but this one.  OH MAH GAWD.  I let him back in...slowly....on my own terms....on my level.  Jesus wept.  He is so fine, so articulate, so...chocolate....so....yummy.  Okay, I must stop.  But he is back...and he is MINES. LOL
• You know I am always amazed at the people who have to convince others that they are a person of positivity.  In the words of Fire Marshall Bill...LEMMETELLYOUSOMETHING....when you are positive, it comes out of your pores and you don't have to tell anyone to make them believe it. It is just the way life is and functions.
• The mom is officially retired.  LOL It is priceless, but also stressful.  I am firm, when God blesses me with this hubby...I need more than one kid.  Having all the responsiblities falling on one person is a DOG.
• I am a confirmed Facebook addict.  LOL The best thing is I have connected with some REALLY dear friends.  One is my friend from high school and another is someone who i have been friends with for TWENTY years. *sigh*  Everytime we think of the years we gag. LOL  It is so good to be connected again.
• Speaking of friends, I have been doing the washing away the friends right out of my hair again.  You know friendship is an equal partnership like any relationship.  If I feel that I am pulling you to hang, you don't have to worry, I won't bother you.  BUT in return, don't act surprised when I comment on it.  I can't stand that phony B.S. Be real...
• Oh another fact for the day....I can't stand liars and bullshit artist.  (This is the Jack and Coke talking.)
• Speaking of Jack and Coke...today I went to one of our local Irish Pubs and gotta drink.  Well, gotta couple of drinks.  I needed it.  When I left my office at lunch time I was in a tight place.  Tight place where I would cuss yo' ass out.  Yes...in ghetto terms. LOL  The one thing I realized, drinking at lunch time truly a treat, but also a bad thing.  I need a nap and I can't stop laughing like a maniac.  LOL  So...I guess they will now officially think I am a looney toon. Well...I am. *projectile laughter*

Alright, I have vented some and now....I am going to sit here and chill and read the paper or something...since I don't have ONE piece of music with me to work on.  Where in the hayle was my damn head today???

Show us a better way to spend $300 than on the iPhone 3G.

Share a song that makes you laugh.

13 Strokin' (Long and Dirty) [_]

Clarence Carter

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